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  sakimo
 
01:08am 15/11/2009  
  Basically, my mom is starting to freak out because she thinks something's wrong with me. I told her a few days ago about the fact I haven't had a period yet -- then I started spotting and thought it was going to be a period -- then it didn't advance any further than that so I told her it was a false alarm. So... she's asked me like 2 or 3 times over the past few days whether or not I'm pregnant, and she said if nothing's happened by the end of the month, she's going to help me schedule an appointment at the gynecologist. ;_; I swear I'm innocent!
I found the Wii Fit board the other day and... well, that made me unhappy. I weighed myself using the scale function, I apparently weigh 147, up 7 pounds from normal. Now, I don't know if that's my NORMAL weight because of the issues with my body right now (usually the week before
anything happens cycle-wise I'll go up to 145) or what's going on. Point is, things aren't normal, they're scaring me, I like consistency, and I can't believe my mother trusts me so little that she has to ask if I'm pregnant. Way to be supportive mom!

Anyway... haven't talked to Ben much lately. Found a new avatar community that I actually like. The avis are vectored and super adorable, so that's where I've been hanging out the past couple of days online. Otherwise, that's about it.

I just feel fat, have two essays due Monday, and... well, yeah.
Lately just sucks. :/
 
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Lolcat: Yarnia
  killing_rose
 
07:58am 13/11/2009  
  <a href="http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/11/12/funny-pictures-i-foundz-yarnia/"><img

This entry was originally posted at http://killing-rose.dreamwidth.org/57865.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
 
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no subject
  wyndhamheart
 
08:53pm 11/11/2009  
  God. I don't want to talk about today.  
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Comic [1241] "t3h ph33r before t3h kill"
  megatokyocomic
 
11:01pm 11/11/2009  
  Chapter 10: "A.F.K." comic 1241
[read...]
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Update from Swine Flu House
  killing_rose
 
08:28pm 10/11/2009  
  So remember how I was in the Swine Flu Waiting Room at the health center? I got sent to the house where they're quarantining everyone suspected of having H1N1 on campus. Yes, I said suspected. And yes, that means that most of us probably don't have it. No, they're not doing testing at this point and only a few people have prescriptions for tamiflu.

I'm expecting to be able to go home tomorrow and back to class on Thursday. I have missed way too many classes because of this debacle.

Admittedly, I haven't been feeling well, but also admittedly? To quote a friend of mine, "Your reaction to half the things you're allergic to is identical to what they're screening for." 

And my towel just fell off the hook in the closet. I better not be sharing this room with both a roommate and a ghost.

This entry was originally posted at http://killing-rose.dreamwidth.org/57849.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
 
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Talking about poop with my mom
  wyndhamheart
 
04:01pm 10/11/2009  
  She looked at my pics, made me feel better.

We've spent most of the day just sitting around. It's been good. I should be unpacking but I have all week to do so. Was supposed to go out to portland, but no one will take me. Almost done with Mad Men season 2.

Haley's been amazing. Barely ever leaving my side. We went back up to DC the other day to do an art project and she let me go up to Dupont and show her around. Got scrubs season 1 and 2 from a thrift shop and we ate lunch in China Town. Urban outfitters was having a sale, but nothing good.

I'm sad that Wash died in the premiere episode of "V". He was half the reason I was excited about the show. Been watching Modern Family too. Very funny show, not the best, but I love the gay couple.
 
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Another entry, because I woke up.
  sakimo
 
04:27am 10/11/2009  
  Sigh. I'm really starting to loathe my body, you know.
I got a 90-day supply of the Nuvaring. Can't fucking use it. Why? I won't start. Today's the 10th, and I don't keep track of my cycles well, but... I think I started my last one sometime in late September, early October. It's almost mid-November and nothing. It just doesn't make any sense, and it's frustrating. I'm tired of drinking a tea that tastes like grass in an attempt to force start it.
Also concerned about my sternum alignment. I mean, don't get me wrong, the left side's stuck out more than the right for as long as I can remember... I just wonder if I should be concerned about it.

I really need to get back to bed.
 
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:/
  sakimo
 
09:26pm 09/11/2009  
  Lately has just sucked. Ben has been a dick, I hate my English class, I never got called for an interview at Elite... yeah. Fuck me.

I guess I just wanted to say that I hate my life for the most part and I'm really tired of bullshit.

Also, Roxanne came over two nights ago. She stayed the night. I miss her. I miss everyone.
 
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I maintain that I have a cold.
  killing_rose
 
11:59am 09/11/2009  
  But I am currently in the swine flu waiting room at my college health center. I have been here for over 45 minutes. If I didn't have swine flu before this, I probably will after this.

Yay Monday?

This entry was originally posted at http://killing-rose.dreamwidth.org/57522.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
 
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Last night
  wyndhamheart
 
10:47pm 07/11/2009  
  omg. It was amazing.

We ended up going to Town in DC which is near the 930 club, if anyone knows anything about DC,
for everyone who doesn't... it's kinda a sketch area, NW, but since I used to live in SW, more sketch, it was cool. Was only four blocks from the metro.

The cover was only 10$ which seems cheap to me, but again, first time. No line too, which was a plus. When we walked in the drag show was going on, and as my first drag show, I have nothing to compare to, but it was a sight! Totally fun and involved and great times had by all. After that it became a dance club playing top 40 and the upstairs opened. The crowd was mostly REALLY ATTRACTIVE gay GUYS! Seriously, fucking so much flannel and fake big glasses. I was in heaven. Dancing was great and since there were barely any straight men, Haley and I only had to pretend to be gay a few times that night!

Upstairs they were playing house music with guys wearing their underwear and dancing on the polls. JESUS CHRIST THEY WERE SO RIPPED AND ATTRACTIVE. It was by far the best part. That and I love house music, I might be the only one, but house and techo in general is SOOO much easier to dance to and just enjoy. Sadly, no one else in my group agreed and we spent most of the night downstairs.

At one point my friend got up on the stage and was AMAZING also I got hit on by this lesbian who was gorgeous! It made my night. She was like 25, works at a non-profit, long blond hair and soooo pretty. If I swung the other way I would have been over the moon. Also, she was flirting so much better than the drunk guy who just walked up to me and touched my boobs. Guys suck on hitting on girls. Also, why are gay guys so much more attractive than all other men? That also makes me sad.

So all and all, I REALLY REALLY HAD A BLAST and we're seriously going back the next time we can. Got home around four, and collapsed.
 
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Comic [1240] "the source"
  megatokyocomic
 
06:27pm 07/11/2009  
  Chapter 10: "A.F.K." comic 1240
[read...]
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Analyze This, Ya'll
  killing_rose
 
01:31pm 05/11/2009  
 

Leave me a comment saying "Analyze That"
• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.


My questions are from amazonqueenkate
1.) What made you choose to go to college so far from home?
This is more complicated than you'd think, honestly.

When I started looking at colleges, I was going through a really fun depressive moment coupled with destructive tendencies. I just wanted to get as far away from what I saw as the source as possible. My parents didn't see what was going on (which is where most of our friction today comes from). Most of my "friends" at the time were incredibly bad for me—in addition to the drug use and casual sex that they engaged in, they were also incredibly violent. Over the course of two and a half years, two of these “friends” would try to force me to have sex with them; one definitely attempted rape, but the other was so abusive over a period of time that I honestly don't know how one labels the final encounter. I was watching these girls that I liked and was attached to get pregnant, use drugs, and throw their lives away. I didn’t want to end up in any similar situation. And then, suddenly, in addition to “Your future is better if you go to college,” I was being told on all sides that if you went off to college in another state, your friends eventually faded away. I'm pretty sure that I took both phrases and ran way too far with them.

I already knew that I wanted to go to a liberal arts college like Tufts or another East coast type school; I also knew that there was no way in hells that I could afford it on my own. But I'd had Questbridge mentioned to me a couple times, and so I applied to this scholarship agency, figured that I wouldn't get it and I'd still be stuck at one of the Alaska state schools (I was planning on Fairbanks if it came to that).Instead, I eventually received one of the full-ride scholarships that my college offers and left home for college 4500 miles away.

I had to go far away to get out of the horrible situation I’d found myself in. I don’t think that I could have become who I want to be if I hadn’t left home, left my state, and my demons. But I got out. And I’m always going to be amazed by that.


2.) You can only pick one tv show or movie to watch for the rest of your life. That's it, just one, nothing new. It is your only consumable media. What do you pick and why?
West Wing because it is, hands down, my favorite show. It’s interesting, it’s intriguing, and there are plot lines within plotlines that I still haven’t quite grokked, despite having seen the series more than once. It’s a shared family obsession—it was Dad who got Kia and I hooked, and the two of us have gone back and forth on West Wing for years. And it’s Dad who I’m currently battling for control of those self-same DVDs. (He’s got the upper hand at the moment; he’s far enough away that he can keep them away when I’m gone for the semester. But I will be victorious at Christmas.)


3.) I know you wanted to travel abroad this school year but couldn't because you started getting sick. If you could cure your health ailments, but doing so would mean you could never leave the U.S., even on vacation, would you?

Damn, but you want to make me delve into personal stuff, don’t you? On the one hand, I would love it if my health spontaneously went back to where it was five years ago or even to where it was at the beginning of my first year of college. It’s getting there slowly as is; I have more energy on a regular basis than I have in a long time. That’s never going to change the fact that I would be thrilled if I woke up tomorrow and had the energy levels that I used to, the stamina I took for granted, and the ability to eat anything. It would be awesome to get rid of the need to have my pills with me at all times and the need to keep my prescriptions up to date. And if I never had to go through another blood test, hormone test, or MRI again? I’d be incredibly thankful. But I honestly don’t know if I could resign myself to staying within the boundaries of the United States and its territories. I have issues with being confined to one area—it’s another reason why it made sense to go somewhere else for college. I got bored. I still get bored when I’m in one area for too long. It’s one of the reasons why I was planning to go abroad in the first place! I hate feeling trapped. So…I think it would depend—if I kept getting worse, I might make the trade. Maybe.

4.) Related, oddly: what foriegn country would you most like to live in?
I have to only pick one? So not on. I’m a fan of England—I loved being abroad there for a month last year. But I also like the Caribbean area. And I want to get to South America—Brazil and Peru come to mind. And Australia sounds interesting. The idea of living in Canada is always going to appeal to me. I’ve never heard anything but good things about Scotland. And I have a friend in Egypt.

…Okay, so I have to pick one. This is unfortunate. I’d probably live in England or somesuch, but on the other hand, if I move abroad, it’ll probably to be to Brazil or Peru or somesuch. (And I am totally living in Canada eventually.)


5.) Name the best and worst parts, to you, about Alaska.

The smartass in me wants to snap, “Sarah Palin. And Outsiders” in answer to the “worst part.” Palin’s a thorn in my side and toward most of those who have to split their time between Outside and Alaska. But she’s nothing more than nuisance as far as I’m concerned. But on the other hand? Outsiders get my goat every single time. They do stupid shit, they destroy our land, and then they’re surprised when we get a bit upset. Or even better, when the really stupid stunts wind up with one of them dead, they don’t understand why Alaskans—real ones—are staring at them like they have lost their minds.

But on the other hand, I love my state regardless of the stupid tourists and the thrill seekers. I love the community that I can’t find anywhere else. I love the fact that I can play two degrees of separation between myself and most people I encounter. This is lends itself to a sense of belonging that I don’t have anywhere else and that I cannot shake, no matter how many times I move.

This entry was originally posted at http://killing-rose.dreamwidth.org/57181.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
 
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Writer's Block: Change is good
  wyndhamheart
 
10:11am 04/11/2009  
 

If you could change one major thing about your life, whether a relationship, your job, your living situation, your school, etc., what would it be? Are you currently working toward a serious life transition?


View 1265 Answers



HAHAHAHAHAHA... God. Fuck you LJ.

Jose told me yesterday that that was his last day. I don't know what happened. I'm pretty sure he got fired. I told him that he was the best manager I had ever had and we hugged. I made a lame joke because I could see him tearing up and no one wants to cry at the mall. And then I left.

I'm leaving today. Packing right as we speak. I love this apartment. I spent so much work on it and I considered it home. I'm going to miss it, and Eddie, and all of Matt's other friends. Even the gym. It feels like everything I've been working towards for the past year is now completely gone.

Goodbye relationship
Goodbye apartment
Goodbye friends
Goodbye Jose

I don't know. Haley and I went to IHOP at midnight till 2ish last night because I just didn't want it to be THIS DAY, you know? This is the day when it's real.
 
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Man, what the hell did I do? (edited)
  sakimo
 
12:01am 04/11/2009  
  So I found Murphy on Facebook. My 07 - 08 Debate teacher. 514 friends (I've been watching the number to see if he refuses to add me)... as of today, 515. And he won't add me! What the fuck? Well fine then, I'm just going to send him a message and he can fuck off I guess. It's fine if he doesn't like me, he doesn't have to just ignore my request entirely though. At least he could reject it. I guess it's time for me to get fired up and be entirely knife-in-back aggressive. Gogo!

Chris's parents might move back in together. I don't know what the hell's up. Michael says he's seen them kissing a couple of times. Chris is living at his dad's until Monday of next week though since there's going to be a yard sale and there are high tensions at his grandparents's house right now.

Alright, I can't even finish this. I need to start that letter.

Edit: Okay, finished that letter. Woohoo. I just hate it when people don't tell me what's up. If you don't want to be my friend, fucking tell me - I'd rather not be left hanging.

So after class today, this really pretty black girl - her name is Corina - came up to me while Ben was asking a question about an assignment due next week. She said to me that she was pretty sure Ben liked me. "Yeah, I thought so too! I just dunno what to do about it."
"Hey, I'd just ride with it." And I think she's right. So that's what I'm going to do - ride with it.

Chris still isn't over me. Sigh. He admitted that earlier also. Fabulous woman to everyone who's not fabulous to me.

Got Nuvaring today! It came in a box, which caused me to go "lolwut" until I opened the box - three month's supply! Yay! Was just a nice thing to see. :D

Now... dishes and bed.
 
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Rant [1008] "Happier News"
  megatokyocomic
 
10:35pm 02/11/2009  
  I've been busy over the past week, but it's been a good busy, not the "keep myself from thinking hard about things" busy that marked my summer. For one thing, my job at SideReel has led into them opening up my very own anime blog (because the Internet needs more anime blogs) called AnimeReel, where I've spent the last week giving it some daily love. You can rest assured that this blog will be updated daily, as I write for it regularly during work ...

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